February 2012
5 posts
1 tag
1 tag
“I’m going to kick-punt you across the room. I just… really...”
– Brit to Spencer.
1 tag
“If I’m going to take out the trash, I’m going to do it in style.”
– Spencer, as she waltzed into the kitchen in high heels.
1 tag
Spencer: Brit, do you want a piece of this gum, it's flavored like apple p--?
Jen: ITS GOT MEAT IN IT
1 tag
Jen: Can we adopt this dog? He only has three legs!
Brit: That makes me want it even more!
Jen: He's like that dog... Porkchop! You know, he travels a lot... through time.
Brit: That's Wishbone, you dumb bitch.
Jen: At least they both have to do with meat!
January 2012
5 posts
2 tags
Kelley: Hey look at this! It looks like a bear nose.
Brit: What is it?
Kelley: It's a squirrel's butthole. And balls.
1 tag
Brit: Oh lord, this shirt is much more see-through than I realized.
Jen: It's okay, it just means you're high-fashion.
Brit: Obviously, have you seen my socks-over-leggings combo?
1 tag
Jen: Alright, assume the ate-too-much position (bends over and leans on the table).
Michelle: What are you doing?
Jen: I'm so full that I have to just... let my stomach hang.
Jen: Oops! I accidentally brought this fork to the store.
Brit: You really forked up.
Jen: Well we should do hair dying now because Sarah is coming over at nine ten.
Brit: Like nine hyphen ten? Or nine colon ten?
Jen: Nine colon ten.
December 2011
2 posts
1 tag
November 2011
19 posts
1 tag
Baking cookies:
Jen: (Holding baking sheet) Ow! That's hot!
Brit: Oh god, what's that smell?
Jen: I put the hot thing on the stool... and it melted.
1 tag
Kelley: Suck my penis.
Ryan: Grow one, and I will. Because I love you.
Michelle: I just don't know what to do!
Brit: I'll tell you what you need to do. You need to grow... a bigger... backbone.
Jen: Wouldn't that give her a tail?
“Oh crap, where’s my phone? I bet it’s next to my bed....”
– Brit
Jen: What is that drink on the menu?
Brit: It looks cold... and brown.
Cashier: What can I get you?
Jen: Hello, I'd like a cold brown please.
Jen: My mom was on a "y'all" kick for a while. We had to scream at her to make her stop.
Brit: Oh, so you y'alled at her?
1 tag
“These friendship bracelets are too hard to make! They’re more like...”
– Brit.
1 tag
“I think about you.”
– Jen, upon walking into a room and staring at Brit.
“I know where you hide, alone in your car. It’s not a very good hiding...”
– Jen and Brit singing Maroon 5 and don’tyoudarejudgeus.
Jen: Why'd you say you were halfway there after like two steps?
Brit: I was being optimistic!
Jen: No, you were being wrong!
“Whenever I can’t think of anything nice to say about someone, I just tell...”
– Brit
At the store, Brit asks if the sidewalk chalk from the previous day is gone. Upon returning home, Jen mumbles “yup, chalk is gone”.
Brit: “What did you say? Chocolate John?”
Jen: “Yup, Chocolate John.”
Jen: No! Don't kill that bug. I love it. I even named it.
Kelley: Yeah right, what did you name it?
Jen: Jere...miah...
Kelley: Bull.
Brit: ...frog?